


Pragma

by demonessryu



Series: Greek Types of Love [3]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Band, Blind Date, Dating, Developing Relationship, Fatherhood, First Dates, First Love, Getting Together, I'm talking about early 2000s Maylor ok?, M/M, Old Age, Older Characters, Past Affair, Past Divorce, Reunions, Vacation, if you don't like reading about older men finding love then this fic is not for you, mentions of period typical homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29211222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonessryu/pseuds/demonessryu
Summary: After being single for decades, Brian let his children arrange a blind date for him despite his reservations. After his long-term relationship ended a couple of months ago, Roger was ready to reenter the dating world via a blind date. What a nice coincidence.
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor, Past Debbie Leng/Roger Taylor, Past Dominique Beyrand/Roger Taylor, brief mentions of past relationships with OCs, past Brian May/Chrissie Mullen
Series: Greek Types of Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012734
Comments: 38
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a hot, um, month since I last posted a Maylor fic. I'm still here. It's just that being besieged by covid patients for weeks wasn't very inspiring.
> 
> This fic is inspired by [this gif](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4ef69532e9d84c1ae908415c9fc8ef75/b745b097ee29874c-22/s400x600/54312693693d1c54944a0121ad03faa141e491b7.gifv) whose origin I can’t find. Help me properly credit the maker? Anyway, that gif always makes me think of the interview section of reality shows. Maybe it was because at that time I recently watched a video of a TV show about first dates, but I immediately thought wouldn’t it be great it older!Maylor went on a blind date?? Older version of Maylor is not everyone’s cup of tea but, well, I like to experiment and I think it will be interesting to explore the more mature version of them and how it may be different from the younger version that I usually write. Roger’s children with Debbie don’t exist in this story because I can’t make them fit in the timeline, especially Lola, and I can’t write children. They’re not my thing both in real life and fiction.
> 
> Pragma: Love that has aged, matured, and developed over time.

As he was preparing for his first date in about a decade, Brian thought – not for the first time – that it might not have been a good idea to put his love life in his children’s hands. He had thought that he had gotten the worst part over and done with when his children interviewed him to find out what he was looking for in a boyfriend (boyfriend! Wasn’t he twenty years too old for that?) but their involvement actually got worse. Brian hadn’t thought they would be so enthusiastic in helping him prepare for the date, inundating him with advices and earnestly criticizing his efforts to impress. In fact, he had thought they wouldn’t find anyone for him at all. It had seemed unlikely that anyone would be honestly interested in going on a blind date with a fifty-something years-old astrophysics professor whose last long-term relationship was his failed marriage almost twenty years ago. Brian had gone on several dates since, of course. However, his persistent awkwardness and lingering guilt had kept these dates from being more than short-term relationships. Brian had resigned himself to being an undesirable potential partner for a long time and didn’t expect that to change. But, against all odds, his children had managed to arrange a date for him and Brian was now to meet a mystery man in a _blind date_.

“Dad? Are you coming out any time soon?” Louisa shouted from outside his room.

Brian assessed his reflection anxiously for the umpteenth time. His current outfit was the fourth he had tried on after his children declared his first black suit too formal, his second multi-colored shirt and slacks painfully blinding, and his third science t-shirt and jeans too little efforts (Emily’s exact words were “dad, you’re not seventeen anymore” but Brian elected to ignore it). No longer trusted with choosing his own outfit, Jimmy made himself Brian’s fashion consultant for the night. He picked a black shirt with red accents around his neck and around the trimmings, and simple dark trousers. Brian thought the outfit was the right balance between maturity and fun and hoped his children agreed because he was running out of time. So, after briefly considering and dismissing the idea of taming his hair with gels and such like (the long forgotten pressure to blend in resurfacing in the moment of anxiety,) he finally exited his room to be judged by the harshest critics he had ever encountered.

“How do I look?” he asked his children with an anxious smile.

They gave him a nerve-wracking up and down look that made him fidget restlessly. Finally, Emily nodded with satisfaction. “Like a good old gentleman.”

Brian wanted to protest the use of the word “old,” but his children knew about the hair dye he kept in his bathroom. He turned to Jimmy and Louisa for their opinions. Jimmy was proud of his choice and readily gave his approval, but Louisa was more critical. She scrutinized Brian’s latest looks for a long moment before slowly nodding. “You look nice,” she decided, only sounding mildly disapproving.

Relieved that he didn’t have to change his clothes again, Brian grabbed his suit jacket. “Right, then. I’ll get going.”

This led to a flood of dating advices from his children, who seemed to be under the impression that Brian would forget that he wasn’t in one of his classes and start lecturing his date on the astrophysical mysteries and glories. Brian wanted to say that although it had been a while, he still remembered how to behave himself in a date. However, he reminded himself of how fortunate it was that his children loved him enough to arrange a date for him and helped him prepare for it. His divorce from their mother had been difficult to say the least, Chrissy catching him cheating on her with a man. His children had been rightfully upset with him in the beginning, although time had been kind enough to not only restore their love for him but also make them understand the circumstances that had led to Brian’s indiscretion. Coming out hadn’t been an option for Brian back then, considering the sort of prejudice and discrimination he would have to face if he had been brave enough. Brian had been ready, or at least resigned, to live the rest of his life in a lie. Honestly, he never wanted to hurt anyone! He truly wanted to be a good son, father, and husband! But, there was no fighting nature. Brian had tried, but he hadn’t always been able to deny his longing for the affection of another man.

Being caught with a man by his wife wasn’t the ideal way to come out. Guilt had overpowered what little relief Brian felt for not having to lie anymore – at least to his immediate family. The first few years of his divorce had been difficult and Brian’s mental health had seriously suffered because of it. There had been some dark periods when he thought the black dog he had fought for all his life would win. But, now, here he was, standing in the living room of a very fine house he had bought with the wage from teaching the field he was passionate about. His children were actively involved in his love life and wanted him to do well in it instead of resenting him for being unable to love their mother – or indeed any woman – as he should. The generation Brian had grown up with wouldn’t have reacted as well as his children did to their family’s situation. As exasperated as Brian was with his children’s meddling, he was immensely grateful for the changing time that had brought love and better understanding for the oppressed and prejudiced such as him.

“I promise I won’t bore him to death,” Brian assured his children. He took his car keys and went to the front door. “There’s food in the fridge if you’re hungry and you know the restaurant’s number so you can call me if anything happens. You can go home if you want – you don’t have to wait for me to be back.”

His children protested that they were adults and knew how to take care of themselves, thank you very much, but if Brian had to bear their lectures on dating etiquette, then they could handle a little reminder on how to behave without parental supervision. Before driving off to the restaurant where he would meet his date, Brian rolled down his window to wave to his children, who were positively beaming as they waved back to him. They really were excited for him, Brian thought anxiously. He hated letting down his children, but his stomach twisted under the weight of their expectation. It _had_ been a while since his last date and that date hadn’t even gone very well, the poor man making excuses to end the date early and never replying Brian’s efforts to contact him. Maybe he did need dating advices from his children, after all.

“Don’t forget that your date’s name is Roger!” Jimmy announced to the neighborhood, unaware of Brian’s internal turmoil. “Have fun, dad!”

* * *

Roger gave his reflection a critical once-over, then hummed in satisfaction. He had gone for simplicity tonight, just a plain white shirt under a black velvet jacket suit with matching trousers. For a moment he considered wearing one of his sequined shoes to satisfy his propensity for glams or one of his skull-shaped accessories to make a memorable statement. But, his usual dating fashion was probably too much for a date with a college professor, so Roger opted to be a little conservative tonight. Although, that didn’t mean that he wanted to look boring. If his date thought for even a second that Roger was a dull businessman, he would be immediately relieved of that illusion by the tattoo Roger proudly displayed on the back of his hand. It was one thing to dress more conservatively than usual for his date’s benefit, but another to pretend to be someone he was not. Roger had no intention to mislead anyone. For all his life, Roger always stayed true to himself and he wasn’t about to change that attitude for any man or woman.

Felix and Rory only looked mildly interested when Roger emerged from his room. They had seen this pre-date procession many times before and had long since been unable to be impressed by their father’s efforts to make an impression. Usually, they would leave him to his own devices and not even bother to ask about his plans. This time, however, they looked at him with open curiosity. “So, you’re really going to the blind date?” Felix asked, sounding a little amused.

Roger shrugged and poured himself a shot of scotch, his usual date night ritual. No matter how much experience he had in dating, there was always some nervousness for the unknown. That nervousness was stronger than usual tonight because he wasn’t entirely sure of what he was getting into. Roger never liked putting his fate in somebody else’s hands, preferring to decide for himself what and who he wanted and then working to secure that person’s attention. He never had any issue with dating, either, usually knowing how to get himself a companion (or several in days long gone.) However, his best friend, Freddie, had managed to convince him to go on a blind date arranged by his date’s children, none of whom he had met. Roger didn’t know what Freddie had told them about him, but it was convincing enough to have these strangers propose a blind date between Roger and their father. The unusual situation had led Roger to agree out of curiosity. There must be a story behind the strange arrangement and Roger was keen to find out.

Roger drank his scotch, sending liquid courage to run through his system. “I think it will be fun.”

Rory didn’t hide her apprehension, having argued many times that Roger’s mysterious date sounded like a strange man of dubious character. After all, what kind of adult needed his children to help him find a date? “You barely know anything about him,” she pointed out not for the first time.

“I know his name is Brian and he teaches astronomy,” Roger countered, pouring himself a second shot of scotch. “The rest I will find out tonight.”

This didn’t inspire much confidence in Rory. Frankly, Roger couldn’t see why she was so worried. What Roger had heard about this mysterious Brian (whose last name was withheld from him because Freddie rightly assumed Roger would track down the man if he knew) was that he was bookish, reserved, and absentminded. From his _extensive_ dating experience, Roger knew that these traits rarely led to awful dates. At worst, it might turn out to be a very boring date. Rory acted like Roger was walking straight into the arms of a serial killer, which was endearingly hilarious. But, while it was true that Roger knew very little about his date, he also had been vouched on by Freddie, who liked Roger too much to set him up with an awful man. If anything, this blind date was safer than all those times Roger picked up strangers from clubs and pubs merely based on their looks and ability to hold short conversations. But, that was another matter entirely and definitely not a subject he liked to discuss with his children, no matter how they accepted the fact that their father dated men and women with equally high frequency.

However, Rory’s concern might have nothing to do with how little Roger knew about his date. Roger had just ended his latest long-term relationship a couple of months ago. Now, regardless of how much experience he had in this matter, a break up was never easy or nice, especially when the relationship had lasted years. He and Debbie had ended things amicably and they were still in touch. However, closing and walking away from such an important chapter of his life had still been difficult. Roger had had his grieving period. People around him had suffered his increased irritability for a while, and so had his sense of fashion. Fortunately, Roger had come to his senses a couple of weeks ago and shaved his latest attempt at a beard, which his children and their mother had declared really quite sad. Now, he was going to jump back into the dating pool, but his method was very unlike anything he usually employed. He would usually go partying, making new friends and acquaintances until he found someone who not only caught but grabbed his attention. Perhaps the uncharacteristic way Roger left his romantic life in someone else’s hands had got Rory concerned about how well Roger had really recovered from the separation. If so, then Roger appreciated her worries, but he really had moved on and he had his own reason for agreeing to the strange scheme.

“He’ll be fine,” Felix said with a smug look Roger recognized from himself.

“I’ll throw the cutleries at him if he turns out to be an arse,” Roger promised.

“And give him access to knives? Spill hot food on his lap. That stops men every time.”

Roger squinted at Rory. “We need to talk about _your_ dating experiences. Now, I don’t want to be late. I’ll see you guys later.”

He patted Felix’s shoulder and kissed Rory’s cheek before leaving. Soon, he was on his way to the restaurant where his blind date was to take place. Excitement bubbled in Roger’s chest no matter how he tried to temper it with realistic expectations. Some of his dates had been less than successful and some people who initially seemed interesting to him had turned out to be dull. With a blind date, Roger knew there was every chance of things turning out to be less than ideal, but he still couldn’t help but drive a little faster to the restaurant. Maybe his age had caught up with him and made him a sentimental old fool, but he couldn’t wait to meet the man who shared the same name and traits with the one who had gotten away from him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About a century ago, when I posted *checks note* Hey, I Love You, some people asked for Maylor's first dates. I really tried to come up with something because it sounds interesting in paper, but I couldn't come up with two first date ideas. The second section in this chapter is based on the one vague idea I had.
> 
> Thank you very much for all the nice responses for the first chapter! I didn't expect more than a couple of people to feel sorry for me, but there are more people interested in this premise than I could ever hope for! Thank you for giving older Maylor a chance. I hope this chapter is worth the wait.

It was five minutes past the time he was supposed to meet his date and ten minutes since he found a parking spot near the restaurant, and Brian was still in his car. Nervousness wracked through his system. He hadn’t gone on a proper date in many years and, from what he’d heard from his children, many things had changed since he last found the courage to go out with someone. Chiefly, he didn’t have to be too worried about people’s reaction to seeing two men having dinner. He didn’t have to analyze every move he wanted to make, look around constantly to make sure no one was watching, or express himself only in riddles and ambiguity. There was still room in the world for improvement, but Brian also didn’t have to pretend. This was a comforting change, obviously, but it had Brian’s insides somersaulting. The fact that he wouldn’t have to hold his interest back worried him. He had become so used to iron-clad control over his desires. The thoughts of gazing tenderly at another man in the open, of holding his hand if things went exceptionally well, of letting the man knew how much Brian wanted and needed, were overwhelming. What if the man – Roger – didn’t feel as Brian felt? What if he did?

Brian took deep breaths to slow his racing mind and heart. He stared at the restaurant as if it would give him a resolution. He wondered if Roger was already in there, waiting for Brian to be a good-old gentleman and romance him through the date. Honestly, Brian didn’t really remember how to court anyone and he had some serious doubts about the methods his kids had insisted on telling him. Brian closed his eyes, trying to quench his rising panic with various relaxation techniques he had learnt through the years. However, none of these tried and true techniques compared with the one thing that kept him from driving back home like a coward. Brian didn’t know how, but his children had got him a date with someone with the name of his first love.

The late 60s had been a very different time. Brian had been a very different man then and Roger had been his contra, his opposite in about every way. Oh, how they had clashed, argued and shouted in those confusing days. But, oh, how well they had gotten along when they put their egos aside and admitted there were more similarities between them than there were differences. Brian had never felt more seen than when he was with Roger. He had never felt more complete and complemented. He had never desired and yearned more than in that too-short time he knew Roger. Roger, his temper aside, had understood, had effortlessly inserted himself into Brian’s life, had tempted Brian with what he shouldn’t have. He had frightened Brian with how much feelings he had managed to incite, with how much longing and coveting Brian had had to hold back. One cold December night, Roger had been shivering despite the amount of alcohol he had consumed and the number of layers on him. Brian, drunk and daring, had put his arm around Roger’s shoulders and pulled him close. Brian’s memory wasn’t perfect, but he still remembered with near perfect clarity the warmth that had bloomed and spread through his body like a wildfire from his chest, scorching everything in its path and leaving Brian raw and vulnerable. They had only known each other for a few months then, but that moment Brian had known without a shred of doubt that he was utterly in love with Roger.

But, it had been a very different time from today. Even whispering, let alone acting out, his affection for another man, even one as impossible to resist as Roger, had been out of question. Brian had had to keep his feelings to himself, push it down whenever he looked at Roger or Roger looked at him, bite his tongue when love confession threatened to undo his whole existence. There had been nothing he could do when life took them to different paths that never crossed again. The big exciting world of adulthood had drawn Roger further and further out of Brian’s reach until he was out of sight, never to return. Brian had been left with memories of golden hair, blue eyes, fair skin and quick mind, and the certain knowledge that he would never love like that a second time.

Brian’s heart still clenched at the memory. Roger hadn’t broken his heart. He had left a hollow inside Brian, tailored exactly to his shape, that no one but him could fill. Chrissy had tried and failed, and others hadn’t even come close. Although to be fair, Brian hadn’t exactly made any effort to reform himself into someone that fit them better. This man-this Roger would probably end up being the same. This painstakingly-arranged date might be in vain. But that name – Roger – called to Brian like a siren. It was stupid. Roger was a common name. Brian had taught dozens of Rogers over the years and not one of them had come close to the one he had fallen for. But, for each Roger he had encountered, Brian always made extra efforts to be liked by them and to like them back. They were nothing like his Roger, but for every one of these false Rogers who liked Brian, Brian felt a small section of the hole in his heart patched. This Roger might at least do the same. It wasn’t what his children wanted, but Brian had learnt that a poor facsimile of the young man he had fallen for was the best he could hope for.

Having gathered his courage (or at least resignation,) Brian finally left his car and went into the restaurant. The table was booked under a stranger’s name, Deacon, Jimmy’s friend’s father, who knew someone who recommended this Roger to be Brian’s first date in almost two decades. It was a complicated string of non-connection, one that Brian suspected was done in purpose. As he followed the waiter to his table, Brian mused about how adamant his children were for complete anonymity, convinced he would try to find information about his date and talked himself out of the dinner otherwise. Brian supposed they weren’t entirely wrong. He would’ve asked around and eventually convinced himself to cancel the date if he so much as thought that the man wouldn’t get along with him. Even now Brian still had some reservations. It was only the fact that he was already in the restaurant that kept him from turning back. He had never stood anyone up and he wouldn’t start now. Besides, the man might have even spotted him, so it would be rude for Brian to change his mind. Brian had gone this far. He had to at least get to know the man who had been convinced of Brian’s potential to be a decent partner.

Brian looked curiously around the restaurant. He had never been to there before. Although he had been initially wary of his children’s meddling in his dating life, he had to commend them for not sending him to an obviously romantic restaurant. While the lighting was dim, the plain decoration suggested an ordinary restaurant instead of one of those fancy romantic ones Brian had dreaded. It wasn’t one of the fashionable places, either, where he would definitely feel out of place among the young people who probably had more experience in dating than him. The decoration was leaning toward timelessness – heavy on dark wood but softened by pastel colored arts. The tables were occupied by families, couples, and friends. The sight loosened the nervous coil inside Brian, allowing him to breathe and think a little more easily.

“Your table, sir.”

Pulled out of his observation of the restaurant, Brian thanked the waiter. Then, he anxiously turned to the indicated table, mentally preparing a friendly introduction. But, the polite but empty words died on his tongue.

Time changed things, altered people, transformed lives. But, Brian would always recognize those blue eyes.

At the table, Roger- _his_ Roger stared at him with undisguised shock. There was no question whether he still remembered Brian – Brian could see clearly recognition flash in his eyes (still as blue as Brian remembered, still as wicked, still as beautiful.) Brian sat down heavily on his chair, gaping at his lost love, his _only_ love. Greedily, he drank every new line on the corners of Roger’s eyes and lips, and across his forehead. Age had strengthened Roger’s delicate features, but there was a shadow there of an uncommonly beautiful young man that had made people of all genders pause in interest. The grey hair was both expected and not. The young man Brian had known had vehemently resisted the idea of ageing, but this man apparently did not, embracing time without immature reservation. It made Brian very conscious of his own efforts. Trust Roger to age gracefully, Brian thought right before he noticed the tattoo on the back of Roger’s hand. A small skull dangling from a two dimensional bracelet stared at Brian blankly yet expectantly, daring him to judge. Brian smiled at the not-so-subtle evidence of rebelliousness. The art might be new, but the sentiment behind it was not.

“Brian May,” Roger said in quiet surprise. His voice was huskier than Brian remembered, but the unusual high pitch was still there. If Brian still had any doubt about the man’s identity, this would put it to rest.

“Hello, Rog,” Brian greeted him, the nickname rolling off his tongue naturally. He had never used it for anyone else. There was only ever one “Rog” for him and he was glad he got to say it again and let it drip from his tongue with affection. “It’s been a while. When was the last time we met? Was it ’69? ’70?” he asked as if he didn’t think of that lonely year every lonesome weekend.

“’70,” Roger confirmed. “I take it that you got your PhD, then. Professor of astronomy, was it?”

“Astrophysics, actually.” Pride burst in Brian’s chest when Roger looked impressed. He knew his achievement was quite extraordinary, but there was still a thrill in being recognized by his old flame. Brian sat up a little straighter. “And you? Didn’t you study dentistry?”

Roger shrugged, every bit as indifferent to the academics as he had been a long time ago. “I actually switched to biology and got a degree in it, but I’m not exactly a biology teacher material, am I?”

Brian couldn’t help but smile “No. I seem to remember that you wanted to be a rock star. A lot of people thought you’d make it – you looked the part.”

Roger scoffed, though he looked pleased. “Obviously that didn’t work out. I work in PR now.”

That sadly wasn’t a surprising outcome – Roger hadn’t been the only young man with big dreams in London. Brian was sorry that Roger didn’t get to reach his dream (he would’ve made a terrific rock star!) but he was glad that Roger seemed to have gotten over the disappointment he must have felt. “You’re always good with people.”

This innate skill had drawn Brian (more awkward, silent and confused then than he was today) to Roger. Talking to him had been easy. Being his friend had been very easy. Falling in love with him had been extremely easy. Brian tempered the flutters of hope in his chest. They hadn’t met in decades. They might as well be strangers now. Just because Brian had been completely in love with him at the age of – God! – twenty one, it didn’t mean he would fall in love with him again this time. It didn’t matter that there was an excited twist in his guts and he was filled with fondness not five minutes into the date. They could be just nostalgic feelings for the young man Roger no longer was. Brian knew he had changed, so why not Roger, too? Many had remarked (both positively and negatively) on Brian’s romantic tendencies, how he gave up his heart and soul at the mere suggestion of chemistry. Brian must get to know this new Roger first, even though he felt like he still knew Roger like their separation hadn’t lasted decades but minutes instead.

“Sorry, I’m still in shock,” Brian said sheepishly when neither of them spoke for a while. He shook his head to clear it. “I didn’t expect to ever see you again.”

Roger nodded slowly. Brian tried, but he couldn’t help but feel a little flattered to see that Roger didn’t fare much better than him. “Neither did I. You were absorbed in your studies and I…”

“You were busy.”

They fell silent again, thinking of the nature of Roger’s busy-ness those days. There had been girls – plural. Roger had never been short on close company and it had always been the opposite gender. Brian had been alone, watching them, not understanding what the unpleasant feelings at the sight of Roger and his girlfriends meant. When he understood, there had been nothing he could do but keep quiet, wishing and fearing Roger would look at him with half the affection he gave his girlfriends. Now, Brian looked back to those months of envy and anxiety, and wondered about what might have been had he known Roger was also interested in men. Would he have dared to make a move? Would he have dared to hold Roger’s hand and kissed him? Would he have dared to face the world without pretense for a chance at Roger’s heart? Roger had always been unafraid of being different, while Brian had been scared of even the slightest disapproval. If Roger had been beside him, if Roger had wanted him to, would Brian have dared to be his authentic self?

“That was an interesting time, being on my own for the first time – and in London no less. There were many things to try out and explore. Many things to learn.” Roger smiled knowingly.

The diplomacy was new – the Roger of the past would’ve spoken his mind plainly and bluntly with little regards of others’ feelings. It reminded Brian that the 60s was far behind them – they were changed men in the present. It comforted him, too, to know that he hadn’t been the only one on the path of self-discovery. Roger had taken it, too, at that time, although separately from Brian. It eased some of Brian’s regret. Maybe he hadn’t wasted his chance in the past. Maybe there hadn’t been any chance for him at all. It was strange thing to be relieved about, but Brian was glad he no longer had to agonize himself with thoughts of happiness he might have missed.

“Indeed,” Brian agreed. “What are you up to beside work these days?”

“Oh, not much. I’m very boring when I’m at home – just reading and watching TV. Or hanging out with my kids when they’re around. Other than that, just vacations on my boat every now and then.”

“How many kids do you have?”

Children were a safe topic. Brian wasn’t surprised that Roger had kids, but he didn’t expect how much he adored them. Perhaps it was because the past Roger had been resistant to commitment. Fatherhood had seemed to be the last thing on his mind. But, this older, more mature Roger seemed to be a completely devoted father who proudly told Brian the achievements of his children and their memorable family outings. In turn, Brian told him about his own children and how although their relationship had been strained for a while, they were now very close. Also a proud parent, Brian told Roger all about how well his children did academically and otherwise. He didn’t have as many fun family vacation stories to share – his children had lived with their mother when they were young, leaving Brian very little time to spend with them until they were older and had forgiven him. He carefully sidestepped the cause of his divorce (terrible topic for a first date, Emily had repeatedly told him) and only briefly touched upon the cold distance that still persisted between him and Chrissy. However, he was all smiles when he told Roger about the growing closeness between him and his children that somehow culminated in this arranged serendipity. Roger proceeded to tease Brian about their meddling in his personal life until the waiter came to take their orders.

Conversation flowed smoothly afterward. Brian learnt that Roger had spent a good part of the 70s trying to enter the music industry before practicality won out, forcing him to look for more conventional jobs to support his growing family. He had tried a few professions and found them all boring or irritating in one way or another, before finding himself in PR quite by chance. Many years of experience and one son and one daughter later, he had established his own company that he tailored to his liking, where he no longer had to follow orders but gave them instead. Compared to his, Brian’s own career path had been ordinary. Finishing his education landed him a teaching spot at his university and hard work did the rest. He was proud to imply (although Roger seemed to understand what he was too polite to say) that he was one of the world’s leading experts on zodiacal light. Roger’s profession was one he had chosen out of pragmatism, but Brian had chosen his out of passion. Before he knew it, Brian found himself explaining the interesting parts of just about all projects and researches he had done to date – of which he had many. He just remembered his children’s advice to not lecture his date when he caught the amused look Roger was giving him.

“Sorry. I get carried away sometimes,” Brian apologized, realizing that he hadn’t let Roger speak for over ten minutes. As undignified as it was, it seemed that he did need his children’s dating advices, after all.

“Nah. It’s fine,” Roger said easily, reaching for his perpetually-full wineglass. He smiled to Brian over the rim. “To be honest I don’t understand most of what you said, but it’s good to know you’re still passionate about space. I thought it was quite extraordinary that you went all the way to Tenerife for your research back then.”

“Oh! You knew I went to Tenerife?”

Roger paused and for a moment looked mildly embarrassed. “I heard from a friend,” he said vaguely.

Roger had always had an extensive network of friends. It wasn’t impossible that Roger had heard it in passing from someone who knew Brian. However, the way Roger ever so slightly squirmed in front of him and a look of guilt and embarrassment that he quickly hid behind oddly familiar arch defiance told Brian that he didn’t find this out by coincidence. Brian’s heart thudded pleasantly in his chest. He had thought Roger had stop thinking, let alone caring, about him once they stopped meeting. It had never occurred to him even in his wildest dreams that Roger might have still watched him from the distance. They had had their reasons for not seeking each other out back then. The world hadn’t been ready for them together. _They_ hadn’t been ready to be together. But, things had changed now and Brian saw in the way Roger looked at him and listened to him and smiled at him a promise that he hadn’t dared to hope for in the past.

Roger refilled their glasses and lifted his. “For changes.”

Brian looked at him for a long moment, studying the new and the old, relearning and learning, and lifted his own glass. The red liquid inside swirled gently, swaying to the peaceful and certain beats of his heart. “And for things that stay the same.”

* * *

“My children have been wondering…”

“Your children?”

Even through the phone line, Brian’s embarrassment and Roger’s amusement were palpable. “And me,” Brian added timidly. “We’ve been wondering if we can meet again.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Do you even want to meet me again?”

“Of course I… _Roger_.” Brian sighed deeply when Roger laughed.

Brian’s children had been absolutely ecstatic when he came home with a dazed look and a report that the blind date was with his old friend. They had been significantly less ecstatic, however, when he told them that he hadn’t arranged another date, although he and Roger had exchanged phone numbers. In stark contrast to them, Roger’s children had rolled their eyes knowingly when Roger used the number first, calling the next evening to complain about his children’s waning interest once they knew that their father’s date was only an old friend. They showed no sign of disapproval, however, so Roger went on with it. He and Brian talked late into the night, continuing their conversation on their previous date, until Roger complained about Brian’s incurable insomnia and ended the call with a promise to call again the next evening.

A routine was quickly established. Roger would call after dinner with the sound of the evening news in the background and Brian would answer the call after hovering around his phone uncertainly for a few seconds. Their evenings were filled with pleasant conversations and they never ran out of things to talk about. After all, they had very different experiences in the three decades they had been separated. Roger seemed to have more stories to share even after censoring less appropriate ones and Brian was more than capable of rambling on and on about his pet projects. They discovered that they were still polar opposites on the very first call, disagreeing about a minute detail that Brian immediately forgot but Roger occasionally brought up. However, instead of the loud arguments they had been prone to devolve into in their youth, now they simply sighed and made a passive aggressive comment or two. Their calls never ended in anger or unhappiness, a change they both happily embraced.

However, much to Brian’s children’s chagrin and Roger’s children’s amusement, there was no further progress. Their fathers happily talked for hours every night, but that was it. If not for the long letter Brian sent to the unknown Mr. Deacon profusely thanking him for having extensive enough network of friends to know Roger’s inner circle, and Roger’s generous gifts of wine and arts to Freddie (who now took it as a life mission to match make any single person he could find,) one would think that Brian and Roger were merely happy to resume their friendship. But, their children knew better. Soon, Brian couldn’t go more than a couple of days without at least one of his children asking him about a second date, while Roger’s children had taken to teasing their father about losing his touch in romance. Fortunately, one set of children succeeded in inducing their father to take the next step.

“So, why do you want to meet me again?” Roger asked, his grin obvious in his voice.

Brian tripped on his tongue a few times before he answered. “I had a really great time on our dinner. I’m wondering if you’d have another one with me,” he asked tentatively.

“Are your kids coming with us?” Roger teased him to draw an exasperated sigh out of Brian. “I had a great time, too. Sure, I don’t mind going on another date with you.”

“Do you?” Brian asked excitedly. “Is the weekend a good time for you? Although, it may be hard to reserve a table at that restaurant for weekend – I should ask Louisa. Or is there anywhere you’d rather go to? I rarely dine out, honestly, but…”

Roger let Brian talked on and on, and turned from excitement to frenzy to panic to resignation all within the span of a handful of sentences. Once Brian’s rapid monologue turned into a defeated silence, Roger spoke up, “I’ll take care of it.”

The next afternoon, Brian was tiredly walking to his car, ready to go home after a long and frustrating day at work, when a car stopped in front of him. The window rolled down, revealing Roger, who removed his sunglasses with a flourish and a smirk. To say that Brian’s day brightened considerably at the sight of the familiar face would be an understatement. To say that Roger’s day brightened significantly due to his success at bringing a smile to Brian’s face would also be an understatement.

* * *

It was very easy. It was even _too_ easy to remember why Roger had liked Brian in the first place, to continue from where they had left off, to like the new sides of Brian he hadn’t known before, to be his friend once more, to desperately long for him again. Not that Roger relished on difficulty and whatever some people had said, it wasn’t true that he got _everyone_ he wanted. But, Roger had gone on that blind date with a very low expectation for romance. Even after finding out that his date was Brian, he had still expected them to get into multiple arguments like in the past. But, now there were only disagreements and even those never lasted long. Roger found himself drawn closer and closer to Brian, even closer than they had ever been in the 60s, and it all happened so faster than he could blink. Their first date had been less than a month ago and their second a little over a week ago, and now waiting for Brian for their third date, Roger didn’t really know what to do with the excitement and contentment that conflicted within him from the thought of spending a couple of hours with Brian again.

Roger would probably remember their first date for the rest of his life. His breath had been caught when he saw the unmistakable curls of hair. The shy smile had hinted the person’s identity and the gentle eyes had all but confirmed Roger’s suspicion. Brian hadn’t been the only one in shock –Roger was just better at hiding his reactions. It had taken far longer than he cared to admit for the reality to sink in. Every word said, every picture painted, every novel change introduced completed the hazy image of his long lost friend that Roger had kept safely locked in the depth of his memory. And along with the memory, warm sentiments only Brian could provoke had resurfaced. Yes, things had changed. Yes, Brian was no longer the awkward young man Roger had known. Yes, Brian was now an accomplished scientist with worldwide achievements beyond anything Roger could imagine. Yes, Brian had been married and now had kids he loved very much. Yes, Brian now had the experience and maturity he hadn’t had in the past. But, it was Brian. It was still him with some alterations. It was still the man Roger had fallen stupidly in love with when he was young. It could also be the man Roger once again fell for not one month after their reconnection.

Roger had to remind himself to slow down. He had a habit of jumping from one relationship to another rapidly, but this time (as things often were when Brian May was concerned) Roger wanted to be careful and make sure everything was perfectly right. This was similar to how their friendship had started. That could’ve gone a lot better. Back then, Roger’s attraction to Brian had been unexpected, immediate and intense. From their first meeting, Roger had been drawn toward him, longed for him, yearned for his attention. It had been very confusing for someone who had never been even remotely attracted to another man and it had contributed to his decision to put some distance between them. It had been a whirlwind journey of self-discovery with Roger emerging out of it knowing himself better but without Brian by his side. He had looked for Brian again in the aftermath and found no place for himself in an aspiring scientist’s life. Brian had seemed to be set on a conventional path of life with an important academic career waiting for him and a domestic life with a wife and children in the horizon. Roger had retreated to his newfound rock ‘n’ roll life, finding refuge in his big dreams and people who loved him for who he was. For decades (although Roger didn’t like to admit his feelings had stayed with him that long,) he had convinced himself that it was for the best. After all, despite the instant connection, he and Brian had also had plenty of disagreements. Their personalities had been too strong to get along peacefully. Staying away from Brian had been Roger’s only way to demonstrate how much Roger cared for him.

However, today, Roger and Brian had both learnt to control their tempers. The minor disagreements were resolved quickly and quietly when it the past, they would’ve been scowling and shouting at each other before inevitably finding their ways to each other when their anger had subsided. Roger could see a hint of stubbornness lurking just underneath Brian’s calm exterior and Brian would be very disappointed if he thought that time had put off all of Roger’s fire. But, they now knew when and how to pick their battles, and realized that there was really no battle to fight between them. They were on the same side and Roger could barely keep himself from reaching out so that they could face this new world hand in hand. Giving up on Brian had been sensible three decades ago, but today Roger couldn’t find any good reason to not give them a chance. Their history gave them a foundation to a good relationship and their age secured what had once been too uncertain to bet on. In the past, Roger had craved excitement, but now he was ready to slow down, to take his time and enjoy the fruits of his adventurous decades. And he really would like to savor this new stage of his life and any other that might come after that with Brian – and not only as good friends.

Brian arrived on time this time, clearly less plagued by overthinking as he had been for their first two dates. He smiled brightly as he took his seat in front of Roger at their corner table. As they talked about their works, Roger marveled how, although he still didn’t fully understand, he now found some scientific terms Brian liberally used familiar. Also now familiar were the names of Brian’s coworkers and students. He wondered if Brian felt the same when Roger told him about his colleagues and clients. It was strange and exhilarating how easily they integrated themselves into each other’s lives, how they made space for and adapt themselves to better suit each other. Roger now could respect Brian’s career when in the past he had only begrudgingly admired his study. The way that adulthood made work a dominant part of one’s life made Roger more appreciative of life passions, too. His had been largely unchanged. He had a long-term love affair with fast cars, which had expanded to less-fast boats that Brian had expressed some curiosity about. Similarly, Brian was still as excited about the space as he had been before, prone to lecturing anyone who would listen about the great mysteries of the cosmos. Roger was a little surprised to find himself one of those people who willingly listened now, if only to see how it brightened Brian’s eyes and made him smile like few things could.

“I want to show you something,” Brian announced excitedly. Roger tried to remain some semblance of coolness, but found himself returning Brian’s bright and almost innocent smile, happy that he was happy. “I found some pictures from back in the day.”

“Oh, you still have them?” Roger remarked in surprise when Brian handed him a stack of old photographs

The black and white images were slightly faded, like still scenes from a dream. Roger found himself, his own ghostly face beaming youthful optimism he now knew was poorly founded. He looked at himself for a while, feeling and dismissing the melancholy induced by memories of easier, or at least more oblivious, times. Smiling to himself, Roger turned to pictures of him and Brian, who was instantly recognizable from his hair and smile. Roger couldn’t help but note how closely they stood or sat together in the pictures. They could’ve been in a room completely empty except for them and they would’ve chosen to be by each other’s side. Roger studied the carefully crafted miniscule space between them and saw how they leaned toward each other, not daring to reach out but still yearning to be as close as possible. Despite his pride, Roger hadn’t been able to stop himself from gravitating toward Brian because no matter what differences they had, Roger somehow had sensed that they were the same. Now, older and wiser, Roger knew that he had been right all along.

“You haven’t changed much, Rog,” Brian smilingly commented.

Roger scoffed, knowing better than to trust Brian’s biased judgment although it pleased him. “It’s a good thing that you grow out your hair. It looks much better now,” he returned.

“Well,” Brian began shyly. “You said you liked it, so I thought…”

“Did I?” Roger asked, surprised. He remembered being impressed with Brian’s hair, but he couldn’t remember saying anything about it – he had been very reluctant to compliment Brian about anything back then. “Well, I guess between the two of us, I was the one who made efforts to not pick the most boring looks I could find,” he said, making Brian laugh.

It hadn’t been this easy with Brian – not even on their more peaceful days back then. They had disagreed on just about everything, including things they agreed on. It hadn’t helped that Roger had been a very angry young man those days, lashing out at anyone unfortunate enough to be near him when his bad mood struck. He had always liked Brian, although it hadn’t always been obvious – he had spent too much time aggravating Brian, contradicting him out of pride and poorly planned bids to get his attention. Now, they were more like friends than when they had first met. Time had filed out their sharp edges, allowing them to be near without cutting and hurting each other. Roger still enjoyed drawing strong reaction out of mild-mannered Brian, but he no longer aimed for anger and just poked fun at a pride as great as his own. They could sit comfortably together, talking about their different experiences, views, and lives, and only laughed at how opposite they were. Roger couldn’t remember being this happy and comfortable around anyone – not even any of his exes – although of course no one he had been with had had a history like his and Brian’s.

Roger wouldn’t lie. He had thought many times of what could’ve been between him and Brian. Roger had always had some suspicions that Brian had returned at least some of his affection. When he remembered how differently Brian had treated him from others, how Brian had shown more patience and forgiveness and attention to him than to anyone else, Roger would think that there had been something really special between them, loud squabbles notwithstanding. Had the era permitted and they dared, they could’ve been happy together. Or at least they could have, for a time. Brian’s patience would’ve run out eventually and Roger’s ambitions would’ve made him a less than ideal partner. Separation would’ve been inevitable. Roger always tried to maintain good relationships with his exes, but he didn’t know whether he could do it with Brian. They would’ve been bitter exes for the rest of their lives and then today, this date, this moment wouldn’t happen. Roger would always wonder about the relationship they might have missed, but the more time he spent with Brian, the more he was convinced that the present outcome was the best.

“When did you find out that you like men?” he asked as Brian carefully put the pictures back into his bag.

“Well,” Brian began hesitantly. “I started realizing it in college, though on hindsight I was very attached to some friends at school. But, college was when I realized I didn’t just want to be a close friend. I didn’t know what to do. It was a very different time from today.”

“It was,” Roger agreed, recalling the prejudiced era. His honesty hadn’t always been met with acceptance, though he had no regret over the awful acquaintances he had lost, only gratefulness the good sensible people he surrounded himself with. “So, you didn’t do anything about it?”

“I kept it to myself, got myself a girlfriend, got engaged with her, married her.” Brian smiled ruefully. “It wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made, but I thought I’d be able to keep it a secret forever, and I did like Chrissy – my ex-wife – and I love our kids. I really wanted to be a good husband and father, but I could never love her as I should – I can never love _any_ woman actually. I found my way to some clubs and bars and, well, I overestimated my ability to keep secrets.”

It was a common enough story. Roger knew his share of men and women who married people they liked but couldn’t love, due to societal demands. Not all of them were unhappy, but all of them weren’t fully happy, trapped in lives of lies. Some were content with having built a family, but others weren’t and doing as Brian had done wasn’t a rarity. Infidelity shouldn’t be encouraged or celebrated, but Roger was inclined to excuse affairs driven by despair and loneliness. Everybody deserved to love and happiness, but some people could only steal brief moments to have them. Even knowing the consequences and the pain that Brian’s cheating caused, Roger didn’t hold it against Brian for not being entirely faithful in his marriage. Nor did he consider it a red flag like some would. It was an act of desperation that didn’t reflect Brian’s character. Roger wished he could say the same about his own past indiscretions, but they did reflect his needs for excitement. Although, those needs had died down three decades, two children, and one blind date later.

“How did your parents take it? You were very close with your father, weren’t you?”

“They weren’t happy. They were very disappointed, in fact, but it is how it is. I am what I am. They and my children came around eventually, but they were very upset with me for a time. It was very difficult, losing my whole family. It was the only thing that I wanted, to be a good son, dad, and husband. But, I…” He paused, blinking his glassy eyes rapidly. “My dad passed away having accepted and forgiven me. If he hadn’t, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to go on.”

Roger gave Brian time to collect himself. “I’m sorry. I’m glad your parents and children accept who you are in the end,” Roger offered when he had calmed down.

“Me, too.” Brian smiled to Roger gratefully. “Somehow I don’t think you have this problem. I can’t imagine you hiding who you really are from anyone.”

Roger chuckled. “No. My friends know and those who have problem with that can sod off. My mum knew straight away – she probably would’ve known even if I hadn’t told her. My sister was a bit surprised, but got over it quickly. My dad was a bit of a problem, but he was out of the picture most of the time anyway, so that didn’t matter.”

“That’s pretty much how I imagine things were for you, Rog,” Brian said, nodding with an indulgent smile on his face. “You’re never scared of anything or care what people say. You’ll never hide things like I did.”

“Oh, I hide a few things,” Roger returned mischievously, thinking back on some naughtier things he had only told a select few and had no intention to inform his children about. He wondered how Brian would react to learning about them. Brian never judged Roger, but Roger wanted to deserve Brian’s very good opinions about him. He didn’t want to let Brian down. He wanted to give Brian the best version of him. “You said you found out in college. Did you already know when you met me?”

“Uh, I started to wonder then,” Brian answered carefully, then started a long speech about everything that had been happening in his life at that time – his studies, his dreams, his parents, his friends, and their various influences on him back in the days and in the present.

At first, Roger listened to Brian’s nervous rambling in amusement. But, as Brian meandered further and further away from the original topic, his heart began to race in his chest and there was an excited flutter in his stomach. The 60s were long gone, but Roger felt as giddy as a teen in the face of an impending love confession. He tried to keep his thoughts off his face and wished he was wearing his sunglasses so that he didn’t worsen Brian’s anxiety with his expectations. He knew he didn’t succeed entirely when Brian avoided his eyes. Roger took a deep breath, trying to calm his clawing impatience. “Did you know or not, Brian?” he asked again when Brian paused to breathe.

Brian laughed in embarrassment. At first he hesitated, but then sighed, all defenses melting off of him. “No, but you made me wonder and later made me realize it. You were- _are_ impossible to ignore, Rog.”

Roger was entirely too old to have his heart skip a beat, but it did skip a beat when he heard Brian’s answer. He didn’t bother questioning whether it was true. He could see nothing but sincerity in Brian’s face, in the soft curve of his smile, in the warmth of his eyes. He’d seen it before. If Roger closed his eyes, he knew he’d be able to recall a younger version of Brian – nothing like he was today and yet still very much the same – with this very look on his face when he gazed at Roger: raw and tender and honest as he kept his distance while fidgeting with unconcealed desire to be closer to Roger. Brian deserved time to time and space to think, to weigh his options, to consider what future they could possibly have together. But, the more time he spent with Brian, the more Roger wanted to promise him a lifetime of affection and devotion – not as a boy who flippantly made commitments he didn’t fully understand, but as a man who knew exactly the weight of what he was promising and still wanted to promise everything. Roger bit his tongue, trying not to make vows that were both too late and too soon.

“And you? When did you… how did you find out?” Brian asked back, tapping the table nervously as he tried to redirect the conversation away from himself.

Roger looked into Brian’s eyes, saw everything he had always looked for in every love he found, and quitted holding back. If it were too soon for Brian, Roger would apologize and give him time. He would be a friend and waited until Brian was ready, whenever that might be. But, if Brian was finally ready for what had been put on hold for decades, then Roger would be there with him for as long as Brian wanted him. Lovesick heart pounding in his old chest, Roger reached over the table and closed his hand over Brian’s. “You. I found out when I met you,” he admitted.

When Brian just stared at him, Roger feared he was too forward and hasty. He didn’t know any other way to be, but Brian was different. Roger slowly withdrew his hand, trying not to feel too dejected. But, Brian turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. His grip was strong with no hint of uncertainty and a big smile spread on Roger’s face as he squeezed Brian’s hand. In a moment, Roger would come up with something to fluster Brian and make him laugh. But, for now he let silence speak the love they hadn’t been ready for three decades ago but they now grasped with both hands and would never let go.

* * *

The boat left the harbor early in the morning. The weather forecast promised perfect summer weather for the next few days and later in the day, surrounded by the blue African Sea with only a smattering of fluffy white clouds above, that forecast seemed very likely to come true. It was impossible to choose a better time to retreat to the sea and Brian and Roger were glad they had decided to do it together.

The small crew was already familiar to Roger and was perfectly welcoming to Brian. After a brief introduction and review of the plan, Brian and Roger moved to the sunniest part of the boat to bask in the warmth they rarely could enjoy at home. It was a nice change from their holiday last winter. They had stayed at a nice little cabin in the mountain then, just the two of them surrounded by miles of snow and evergreen trees, spending daytime skiing and nighttime cuddling by the fire, whiling minutes away with laughter and banters. Over a year of dating had bettered their understanding of each other and themselves, teaching them when to give and take space from one another, pulling away when necessary to return to each other at the end of every day. Both of them had enjoyed the brief escape from their hectic lives and loving families and were eager to go on another one, this time longer and further away from all they knew and loved.

“It’s a beautiful day.” Brian glanced at Roger on his side and raised an eyebrow. “Pity you don’t notice it.”

Roger lifted his eyes from his book. “I do notice it,” he argued, gesturing broadly to the stretch of his slowly tanning body.

“It’s a vacation, Rog. Do you really have to bring your books here?” Brian said in exasperation.

“Exactly. It’s a vacation, so I want to relax!” Roger countered and returned his attention to his book – an old favorite by C.S. Lewis that showed its age in its yellowing pages and a small note on the first page indicating that it was Christmas gift from Brian in 1969.

Brian shook his head in fond resignation and turned his face toward the sun. Without looking, Roger found Brian’s hand and linked their fingers together, a promise that he would eventually give the fine weather and his partner the attention they deserved. Out of sight from each other, they smiled and continued to enjoy their own ideas of fun separately together. There was no need to run after every fleeting moment. Age brought a new perspective on time. They don’t rush anymore, no longer feeling anxious for slowness and silence. They now lingered and savored every moment that they knew would soon slip through their fingers. They knew nothing of any true importance would be lost – if their feelings had survived decades of being apart, how could it possibly not last the rest of their lives?

“Mind if I take a picture?” Brian asked when the sun turned Roger’s greying hair gold again.

“I almost thought you forgot,” Roger chuckled, finally putting away his book. “Only if you’re also in it.”

“To prove to the kids that we haven’t killed each other yet?” Brian joked.

“Sure,” Roger shrugged. “And that we’re happy together.”

Roger pulled Brian’s hand to his lips and gently kissed his knuckles. Utterly charmed, completely in love, Brian leaned down and replaced his knuckles with his lips. They ended up basking in the sun an hour more, unable to tear away from each other, their hands linked between them. Few loving words were spoken, but affectionate gazes and touches were liberally given. Thirty years ago, this sort of silent love and understanding wouldn’t have been appreciated, but today it was everything Brian and Roger sought and cherished. Thirty years ago, they would’ve fought and hurt out of confusion and fear, but today they were content with themselves and therefore each other. Thirty years ago, it hadn’t been the right time for them, but today, laying side-by-side in a marine haven far away from the cloudy city where they had begun, the world, the universe finally aligned. Roger and Brian had had to wait for decades, but their love was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. Let's start the long end note/references with Roger's job. Has anyone looked up Felix's author's bio? It mentions him working in advertising for a while (the very brief mention of his parents' nationalities cracks me up. But kudos for not bringing up Roger's fame). I was going to give that job to Roger, but it doesn't feel right for his character. So, since he was basically Queen's PR, I make him work in that field (I think he'd do a good job at it!).
> 
> The initial draft only had two dates in it, but it felt rushed. I do want to give the impression that they move very fast because of their history, but that didn't feel right. So, I put together a short section using some old ideas. Besides, we need to hear more about the meddling children!
> 
> The book Roger is reading in the end is Out of the Silent Planet. I read that Roger and Brian wanted to name Queen the Grand Dance based on that book. I've wanted to mention that book for a while but I haven't had any chance until now. I probably should read it to know what it's about, but honestly scifi doesn't interest me, so I'll stick to the wikipedia page.
> 
> Shout out to my unassuming client who sent me a document about gay fathers that I referenced when writing about Brian's situation with his children. It's kind of tricky navigating the issue, especially with affair(s) involved. I hope I do it justice.
> 
> Brian's comment about Roger's look is based on his commentary in Queen Rock Montreal DVD. Their vacation is based on that time Brian had to receive an award alone because Roger was vacationing in Africa (can't remember where exactly). I'm inspired a lot by Brian's kind words about Roger, basically. Roger doesn't compliment Brian half as often, but the few things he has said definitely show that he's not as indifferent to Brian as he tries to appear. It's just that his love language is making Brian's life a bit more difficult lmao There are probably more trivia that I forget. Oops.
> 
> I can be found on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/).

**Author's Note:**

> So, how many of you manage to finish reading this chapter and still want more? Well, if this fic doesn't turn you off, rest assured that I won't leave you hanging. This fic is finished and just needs a little editing - I just want to buy myself some time while I finish a Maylor fic I've abandoned for over a year. The next chapter will be up in two weeks as usual and there will be ~drama~ and ~romance~. Probably not in that order.
> 
> I can be found on [tumblr](http://demonessryu.tumblr.com/).


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